Reformed Slut

Once upon a time......

There was a good Christian Child who lived alone. The child was intelligent, so found school work easy and thus had a lot of free time. The child also had parents who were going through a divorce so were willing to throw a lot of cash at the child. The child took full advantage of the situation and acquired many luxury goods. However, that only took care of the day time itch. At night, the child discovered the wonders of London Town after dark. While the child did not take to drugs and booze, the child instead took to making the acquaintance of clandestine strangers. Simply put, child began a slut. Child stopped going to church because child felt too guilty. Child stopped being a good Christian child.

Fast forward a couple of years. Child has now grown into an Adult. Adult's black book runneth over, but Adult has turned over a new leaf. Adult is no longer interested in (very) passionate short affairs. You know the type that lasts for hmmmm.................... a night. Adult has even tried to resurrect slutty alter ego to no avail. Normally this would be a good thing for most people, but not in this case. Adult has never had to be in a relationship so doesn't have a clue about intimacy. Adult has grown used to own company, doesn't like anyone in personal space, doesn't know how to open up, has no clue on what it takes to compromise, and now can't even random shag anymore. Simply put, Adult is screwed (well, not getting screwed though).

Shit.

This is a fictional tale about a Reformed Slut.

Counting Blessing's

I was going to do another moan and bitch post, but it isn't anything you haven’t heard before, so instead, we are going to do happy thoughts, and think along the lyrics of a certain Diana Krall song;

When my bankroll is gettin' small,
I think of when I had none at all,
And I fall asleep, counting my blessings.
Shit, that's me now. Oh well.

So, I had a little bit of a getaway last week, which was fantastic, a bit of shopping, a bit of chilling, a bit of eating, and a whole lot of drinking (ok fine, I ate a lot, not a little). And tonight, I am doing din-dins and dancing. I was going to do the whole white jeans on brown slippers thing, but that might be too much for a weekday. So I am going with greyish beige tunic, plus skinny Diesels, on Prada footwear. I actually have 3 choices of footwear packed to change into, couldn't decide which one to go with last night.

Actually, there is something I want to discuss with you guys today; crushes. I suffer from the most terrible crushes, i.e. I have crushes on people who are totally unattainable for ages. This isn't a self esteem issue trust me, I KNOW I am HOT, got no worries there. It is more of a case of twisted masochistic torture whereby I go for the one person who can never return my affection. Anyway, the reason I am writing all of this now is that I am happy to announce that I think I am cured. Let me explain, there is a certain work colleague who is married and would normally have been my target 10 - 24 months crush, but guess what; nothing. Absolutely nothing. And there is a lot of reason why there should be, we lunch together everyday, go out at night together, wear the same brands (and if this isn’t a basis for love, tell me what the f* is?). In fact there is still so much more that would make said target ideal swoon material. But again, nothing. Jesus has answered my prayers. I think this calls for a little presnt enclosed in an Orange Box *wink wink*

What else, any plans for the weekend lovelies? I think i am going to be doing a lot of air kisses *mwuah mwuah darling*. Tonight; you know about. Tomorrow; barring and clubbing. Saturday; I am hosting a dinner for 50 (champagne already ordered, Vueve Demi Sec, they’ve run out of Vintage Krug), and a possible after party. And on Monday after I see my account balance; bidding my virginity to the highest bidder (ok fine, my almost virginity, YES, it has been that long)!

What Have I Done To Deserve This

Pls excuse the dramatic title, it's just the song that I am listening to at the moment, by Pet Shop Boys. It's funny I keep discovering popular 80s and 90s pop artist lately; Crowded House, Paul Young, Dire Straits, very interesting.

Ok, on to today activities. I am going house hunting today. Looking for serviced apartments for my possible new boss, he wants to employ me as social manager. What kind of a rubbish post is that, doesn't he know that I am more than a pretty face. I was actually thinking of Business Development Management or Strategy, this would allow time for my afternoon 'personal maintenance appointments.'

UPDATE: While chatting to ex-shag/sometime partner on msn, my friend comes online and tells me she got her Birkin 3 weeks ago. That fucking bitch! I am still waiting for my bloody travel size one (in either plum, black, or brown, ;), not that i have the money to afford it right now. But in time, i will have turned enough tricks to afford its hopefully. This is the day i finally realised that i am on the wrong career path.

Fashion Supremo's

This video is soo amazing! John Galliano is totally off his face.

[Courtesy; BryanBoy]

Rebirth

Ok, my last post was pathetic. What I need is to grow some fucking balls (like spike lee) and do something about my life. First thing I need to do is to construct a business plan for a little project of mine. I think keeping busy and using all this ‘idle time’ I have now to build something will lift me out of this mild mild depression (I was looking for another word, cause I find the word depression so dramatic, nothing else sufficed).

It’s also time to devote more energy to my favourite pass time, fashion and the desire for luxury goods. Beautiful Bottega, Delicious Dolce, Luscious Louis, Boastful Balenciaga, not to forget Covetable Chanel (you like what I did there? J) Time for me to resubsrcibe to Vogue.

[courtesy; net-a-porter.com]

Basically, it’s time to take to snap out of this slump.

Help Me

Somewhere along the line, I decided to de-clutter my life, and make it less complicated, specifically, in a social context. I stopped talking to a lot of my fellow socialites (most of which can’t be trusted anyway). However, on reflection, I think what I was doing was giving up on life. I now find myself with little or no entertainment, no one to talk to, I spend a lot of time alone, and I feel numb most of the times. Nothing to get excited about, nothing to look forward to, just a dullness that lingers. And you want to know what makes it worse? The same dullness appears in my work life. I have no career goals to speak off, no business ideas, I’m watching everyone pass me by, and I am here doing nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing!

Now I see that I might have played my cards very wrong, and maybe its time to start searching for a way out, except I am worried that I always give up half way, and change paths again. I worry that I can't commit to anything long term, that I will always be looking for new things, but never staying around long enough to build something tangible.

I am so confused. At times like this, I wish I was more religious, just so that I could have something to turn to, to give me some hope, to lean on, but all I have is myself. I am hopeful for something, I just don’t know what…